I thought I would revisit this topic if only to shout out a about a woman  in my network I admire greatly and one of the the most generous people I know in my network.

If you missed the previous post on the issue of being generous to those in your network you can catch up here

Ces is the brains behind Brand Buzz. She  is an avid advocate for my work and has used her expertise in branding to develop a whole new look for the following websites

Africa on the Blog

Let Them Help themselves out of Poverty

Ida Horner

I was pleasantly surprised when her and lovely hubby dropped in one evening to understand what I do and how they can help, bearing in mind that they lived in Liverpool at the time.

Ces’ generosity is legendary  amongst those of us in her network. She is currently running a free- yes a free Promotion  for producers of handcrafts in UK and if you would like to participate in this promotion please click on the diagram below

I decided to revisit this topic primarily to  acknowledge a woman that understands the meaning of networking and being generous to those in your network.

Secondly those who know me will be familiar with my community work in South West Uganda . I am not a rich a woman by any stretch of imagination  and one of  the questions I get asked a lot is Where does your funding come from? The simple answer is that from my networks both on and offline- in other words the generosity  of others enables me to help those less fortunate than I am and Ces is one of those that help by volunteering her skills and as such saving me a time and money. She never expects  anything in return!

Unfortunately some of us do not get this whole notion of networking being about building relationships, sharing what you know and have  with those in your network without expecting anything in return.

I recently  approached someone  for  contact details of someone  in their organisation. I went through my work and explained that I was trying to reach that person at the organisation he works at to find out if they would be interested in sponsoring an event we are organising to raise money to complete a water project in SW Uganda

I was unprepared for the answer I got back

“that is all very well but what’s in it for you”?

I must admit I was taken back by that answer and was at a loss of what to say and mumbled something along the lines of “hopefully God’s blessings” I am not sure what was behind that question and 2 weeks on I have not heard back from that person.

I have asked myself a few questions  following that exchange

1. Am I falling foul of the networking etiquette
2. was I wrong to expect that because I know this person they would help me?
3. should givers gain?

I don’t have any answer to those questions but I am grateful to people like Ces that have reached out to me

If you have any branding questions or would like a fresh look for your website Ces can be contacted at  ces@creativelyminded.co.uk

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If you are reading this  and are an avid networker you would have across the saying  GIVERS GAIN.

For some this is a  situation where everyone wins but in my mind it also means  BE GENEROUS TO THOSE IN YOUR NETWORK, which put simply is  share what you know and have with those in your network, go out of your way to reach out to them and help wherever possible.

That all sounds OK, but there is always that question WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME?

A few days ago I had a call from a dear friend lets call her Mary. Mary has a brother let’s call him Jon. Jon is addicted to alcohol and as such his wife left him and the children. Jon’s family stepped in and shared the upbringing of the children. One of those children, lets call her Jen, graduated from University last year, got a a very good job and  was  married a week ago.

At the wedding, the groom’s parents thanked Jen’s mother for bringing her up single handedly without reference to Jon’s family or their role in Jen’s upbringing. You can imagine how this went down. Jen’s mother had left when she was a child at primary school and Jon’s family had stepped in to safeguard the children and here there were, at an important day in Jen’s life and the credit for all their hard work had gone to someone else. Someone that had left and played no part whatever.

To say that my friend Mary was furious is understatement. She asked me if she was being unreasonable to expect that their role in Jen’s upbringing should have been acknowledged, Jen would not be where she is today is today, she lamented.

My first reaction was one of dismay.

I wondered why was Mary so hurt by this. She was adamant that her niece Jen was at fault and someone on her side of the family should confront Jen about this . According to her Jen had briefed her in laws out of spite because she is an ungrateful child.

All I could say was, It is one of those things Mary, as family members you had to help these children, without the expectation of a reward, because you could and  as  Christians, I would imagine that is something you do for Gods Sake.

Mary accepted this with a big BUT, someone should speak with that child, if it had not been for us…

After the call I wondered, SHOULD GIVERS GAIN?  Do you give and expect something back from the person you have given? Surely that would be conditional giving which goes against the grain of generosity when networking with others?

I also wondered whether  Jen had  in fact paid back through her achievements of education attainment, getting a good job and settling down?

One thing I know for certain is that it is best to be generous to others without the expectation of anything in return. The advantage of this is maintaining good relationships with those in your network, and if you are  not expecting anything in return you are unlikely to be disappointed if it does not materialise.

Have you got your own experience that you would like to share with me, then leave a comment

Spring is here and one of the things that most of us do at this time of the year is spring clean. So armed with with a feather a duster I set about dusting down my book shelf.

This exercise revealed that I have two copies of a book called  HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE by Dale Carnegie. One of the books had an old BA boarding pass for a flight from Stockholm in 2007! I used it to bookmark a page.

I decided to forget the dusting and reading that page again and before I knew I had read the whole chapter. The gist of it is that we are all interested in what interests us and if you want to arouse one’s interest you have to talk to them in terms of their interest.

Having read this chapter I put the book back , continued dusting and rearranging the books and when I was done I logged into my account over at Ecademy to catch up with what was going on. My in box had the greatest surprise of all.

It contained two messages and I nearly fell off the chair whilst reading one of them. It was from someone that I regularly communicate with on line and is familiar with my work over at Ethnic Supplies . Here is what it said word for word

How are things in China? Do you know anyone who produces reasonably quality solar panel components for shipping? A colleague of mine is looking at a large infrastructure project to provide power to homes and schools in rural areas in third world countries. As well as obtaining help with sourcing the components, we would need help with checking any cargo before it is shipped in respect of quality and other risks. I should add that this is at the germ of an idea stage, so please do not invest too much of your time for the moment. Sometimes these projects do not get past the funding stages in which case we would struggle to reimburse any costs.

I sat back and said out loud WOW! Suddenly the chapter I had just read in Dale Carnegie’s  made a whole lot of sense.  Although this is someone that I already know he gave me no reason at all to be interested in his business venture because, let alone help him even if I could

• dispensed with the  usual pleasantries or hello, how are you!
• As someone that knows me and I have spoken to a few times he is aware that I work in Africa, why was he asking me about China?
• why did he assume that I know about solar power components
• but this is the sentence that left me dumb founded I should add that this is at the germ of an idea stage, so please do not invest too much of your time for the moment.

He left me feeling  WHAT DOES ALL THIS GOT TO DO WITH ME? Does that sound familiar?

If you were advising this person to rewrite his email so that he didn’t leave the reader asking what it’s all got to do with them, what would that look like?

I would be interested in your views on this.